Journey to 13.1

I really stumbled into the whole thing.

As part of our adoption process, both Kristy and I had to have full physical exams. At the time, I was not concerned about my health. I figured that the test results would say that I probably ate too many cheeseburgers and fried shrimp po-boys, but other than that I thought I'd be okay.

I went in for my physical exam in September of 2010. It turned out to be everything I thought. Other than my triglycerides being a point or two too high, the doctor said I was fine. He told me to exercise a little more and eat a little better. (Isn't this what doctors always say no matter what?)

So, that's how I began running.

I actually started off on the elliptical machine at the gym. I would work that machine for about 25 - 35 minutes to build up my endurance. I didn't mind this so much because at the gym all of the elipticals have TV's and since Kris and I don't have a TV at home, it was kind of cool to catch up on ESPN. After about 2 weeks on the ellipical, I started running 2 miles, 3 days a week. It took me about 20 minutes or so when I began. I quickly started building up my endurance until one day I invited myself on a four mile run with a friend of mine who is an avid runner. I didn't miss a beat and was able to keep up for the whole run.

That day, I decided to start training for the Rock n' Roll Mardi Gras Half Marathon that was coming up in 5 months.

This turned out to be one of the most fun decisions I have ever made. It was an amazing experience. My training consisted of running 4 days a week. I would run short runs of 3 -4 miles on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursday and then a long run, between 8 and 12 miles every Saturday.

As I started out I was averaging about 10 minute miles. As my training progressed I was able to consistently run at 8:50 miles.

My friends, who I was going to run the race with, had already run a half marathon and had finished in 1 hour and 57 minutes. We wanted to beat that time so we came up with a schedule to help us run the race in 1 hour and 55 minutes. Each Saturday for our long runs we were consistently aiming to run 8:42 miles. On the day of our 12 mile training run, we nailed it. It took exactly 1 hour and 44 minutes, which was right where we needed to be to finish our race on time. We were definitely feeling prepared.

The overall experience was fantastic. I hurt myself twice during my training which led to me missing about 3 training runs. I tweaked my back one day and landed in the chiropractors office within hours. He fixed me up good and had me back in my running shoes within about 3 days. The other injury was a mild foot injury, but I believe that was simply due to the increase in mileage that I was experiencing.

Throughout my 5 months of training, here are a couple of things that I learned:

1. I found that I run much better in cold weather than hot weather and I run very fast when temperatures are below freezing before the sun rises.

2. I run better to music than I do to podcast.

3. Whenever my run mix lands on tracks by Eminem or Rocky soundtrack tunes, my pace picks up considerably and I play the air drums.

4. Running on a treadmill is misery compared to running outdoors.

5. I actually love running and had no idea for a long time.

6. Above everything else, I learned that running with friends is much more fun than running by myself. This in turn has caused me to re-evaluate all things that I have always done by myself. There's something very beautiful about sharing life with others.

I'll post soon about race day and how we beat our desired time.

What Do Your Tweets Say About You?

Last week, I was listening to sports radio one morning as the guys were talking about the potential upcoming lockout in the NFL. At one point, the discussion turned towards the idea that the only way the players are going to be able to win out against the owners is if the players, all of the players, actually stick together – which of course probably won’t happen because the players aren’t all on the same page. This would not have been as big of a deal 10 years ago, but today in the world of status updates and tweets players are going to quickly show each other, the world and most importantly- the owners – that they aren’t all in agreement and the owners should easily win this thing. All of this to get to the most interesting thing that that the radio show host said that morning when he was talking about Twitter (and I paraphrase) – “We live in a world where you can tell everyone exactly what you’re thinking at every moment about everything. The problem is people don’t think before they hit send.”

This isn’t really a new problem; this whole idea of people not thinking before they hit send. In the past, there was no ‘send’ button to hit, but it was all about spewing things off at the mouth. At least back then when we would let our mouth speak before our brain kicked in, it would only hit a few people (which is no better, but illustrates the point.) Now, though, in 2011, it’s easier to share with 10’s of 100’s of 1000’s of people with the simple click of a button.

Lately, I have been paying much more attention to what I tweet as well as what others post and tweet. It’s fascinating how much you can learn about a person (or yourself), by just checking out their one sentence updates or tweets. More than anything, you can begin to determine what a person’s life is about, what consumes their thoughts and their time, what they are for and even more often, what they are against.

Both Twitter and Facebook give people an opportunity to write a bio. I enjoy the bio section, especially on Twitter as it gives you a chance to communicate who you are and what you’re about in a very short snippet. It’s interesting though how my bio really doesn’t speak nearly as much about me as my updates do.

I took a look back through my last 25 tweets, just to see what I am all about or at least what my tweets say I'm all about. Here’s what I found:

Tweets about:
Friends I love: 3
Running: 5
My family: 3
Coffee: 1
Writing: 10

Random thoughts: 2

Football: 1

I'm actaully okay with these numbers. (I was very curious to see what I was going to find in the archives). It’s my desire that people would know me for what I’m for, not for what I’m against; for what I love, not for what I hate. That people would know me for who I really am and who I am becoming; not for some phony me.

Just like in my speech, I think the best way for me to continue growing in these areas is to actually think before I hit 'send'.

So, what are your thoughts? What do your tweets (or fb updates) say about you and your life? Do people know you for what you are for or for what you're against? Do they convey the real you? Do you think before you hit send?

Letters to Zoe

One of my fondest, most vivid memories is of the day my first son was born and that first night in the hospital with by beautiful wife and our new baby boy. Even today, 6 years later, I can distinctly remember holding him in my arms and the words that I spoke over him and to him that night. Just as vivid and memorable is the night that I experienced the same feelings with our second son, just fourteen months later.

It didn't take me long to realize that though my heart was full of love and full of words for my sons, there was no way I would ever be able to remember everything on my own and there was no way for them to one day, in the future, know what I was saying and feeling for them at these present moments.

So, began, letters to my sons.

I love the technological advancements that have been made over the years that have made communicating much easier through avenues such as emailing, texting, facebooking, tweeting, blogging, skyping and so on. But for me, there is still no better way to communicate and express myself than through a handwritten letter.

Today, I am the proud dad of 4 beautiful and amazing boys. My boys are currently ages 6, 5, 4 & 2. At present, my Kristy and I are also in the (very slow) process of adopting our daughter, Zoe Moon, from Ethiopia.

These days, I keep a journal for each of my boys in which I regularly write letters to them. The letters are usually written at random times throughout the year as well as a letter to each boy on his birthday every year. This has been an amazing way for me to communicate with my boys and also have a book of letters to one day give to each. Even now, as they are growing older, I have recently begun sitting down with them and reading some of their letters to them.

Not too long ago, I headed over to Barnes and Noble to pick up my newest journal. This one is a little different. It's pink. And I cannot wait for the day that I am able to hold my Zoe and begin reading all of the letters that have been written to her even while she is over 8000 away.

I'm curious, what are some of your fun and creative traditions?

Birthday Traditions

Birthdays were always a special day in my family when I was growing up. It was normal to wake up on the morning of your birthday to a house full of streamers, balloons, party favors, presents and much more. The entire day was devoted to that birthday boy (or girl). You ate what you wanted for breakfast, got to choose your favorite meal for dinner and of course, mom always baked your favorite cake.

When Kristy and I started having kids, I knew that big birthday celebrations were one tradition that I wanted to keep going. For this reason, we make sure the whole day is special. The birthday boy (they’re currently aren’t any little birthday girls in our home, but that will change as soon as our Zoe arrives!) is king for the day, choosing what we eat, what games we play, what cake we eat and so on. Our birthday boy wakes up to a home decorated full of balloons and streamers and Happy Birthday signs. We sing happy birthday every chance we get throughout the day. I have also added what has quickly become the favorite tradition of the boys…breakfast with dad.

Having four little boys, I work very hard to spend one on one time with each one. Sometimes it is easier than others but this one thing I have found certainly works very well at least once a year. The morning of our boy's birthday, I take that one boy out to eat breakfast wherever he would like to go. It doesn’t matter which day of the week it is (which means they get to be late for school if needed). It’s pretty cost effective while they’re young because they usually just want to go to IHOP most of the time. I’m sure when they start getting older, they’ll want to hit up The Court of Two Sisters or Brennan’s or some other high roller place, but until then, Dunkin’ Donuts and IHOP are the fan favorites. It’s kind of interesting, because I take the boys to eat breakfast one on one at other times throughout the year, but for some reason, that birthday breakfast is one they enjoy the most.

This week, we celebrated our 3rd boy’s 4th birthday. The breakfast with dad tradition might seem like a weak tradition on the surface, but this year, I realized how amazing it really is when my 6 and 5 year old boys started telling their 4 year old brother just how lucky he was because he got to go to breakfast with dad.

Nate’s choice for breakfast was beignets at Café du Monde. We had a great time….just the two of us. It was a great birthday for my amazing boy.

What kinds of birthday traditions do you have in your home with your loved ones - kids, spouse, etc.?

For those who are interested, I will be doing my first book giveaway with this blog. Here’s how and what you win:
1. Share this blog on your FB page or retweet it
2. Become a follower of this blog or a follower on twitter
3. Leave a comment in the thoughts section of this blog about your family birthday traditions

To win you must do all of the above (unless you don't have a FB account).

A winner will be randomly selected on Friday, February 4 at 5:00 pm. If the winner is the father of a son under the age of 12 that dad will win a copy of John Eldredge's book, The Way of the Wild Heart. If not, the winner will receive their choice of any one book under my ‘books that changed my mind’ list. (Dads - if you already have Eldredge's book, then you'll also be able to choose from the list.)

Good Words

I was reading through the mail yesterday and noticed a card that one of my wife’s friends had sent to her. It came to her the good old fashioned way via the United States Postal Service delivered right to our home. It seemed like a normal type of thank you card with lots of ‘thank you’ verbiage however at the end of this particular thank you note, were the words, “I am glad that you are a part of my life.”

Words are amazing little things that we often don’t give much thought too. Our words have a lot of power though. Power to build up or tear down. Power to inspire others or cause them to retreat. Power to encourage or power to destroy. I think that telling someone that you’re glad they are a part of your life ranks right up there on the list of best words one can say to another. Maybe today would be a good day to think about the words that we speak and to use our words to speak life to others. Maybe today would be a good day to let those we love know we love them instead of assuming they know. Maybe today would be a good day to tell someone that you're glad they are a part of your life.

Living a Bigger Life

One of my greatest fears in life is the fear of living a small life. For the past few years I’ve been trying to figure out what kinds of thoughts, habits, ideas and practices lead to living a small life compared to the thoughts, habits, ideas and practices that would actually lead to a big life.I spend a great deal of time thinking about this, reading about this, and observing the habits of those whom I think are living big lives.

Here are a couple of things that I have observed and learned about what makes for a big life…

1. Be generous with your money
People who live big lives are generous. They are generous with their time, their energy and their money. We live in a time when money is everything. It is rare these days to find people who are willing to part with their precious dough. It’s interesting though at how fascinated and inspired we are when we hear stories of people who are willing to give away their hard earned money. People who are able to give away the most precious commodity known to man are people who are not owned by money, but instead own it and make it serve them.

2. Regularly do things that aren’t for your own benefit
Most people live their lives completely for themselves. It is a rare thing for people to get outside of themselves and do things for others that will in no way, shape or form benefit them. Sadly, when we live only for ourselves, it leads to a very small life. Conversely, when we begin to regularly serve people and do things that aren’t for our own benefit - our lives become increasingly bigger.

3. Have ambition
People who live bigger lives want something. They have dreams. They have goals. Of course, these dreams and goals usually don’t revolve around themselves. If one’s dream or ambition is to get that car they’ve always wanted or to get that bigger home, well, let’s face it….that makes for a small life. Our goals for the end of our year can’t simply be all about having a better body, better health and reading ‘x’ amount of books. There is nothing wrong with these goals, but there has to be more. Our big life dreams and ambitions must be outside of ourselves and for the sake of others.

4. Be You
Many times, we don’t even realize that we are each created uniquely and the most amazing thing that we have to offer humanity and our planet is our self. People who take time to figure out who they are, what they love and what they have to offer have the potential to live some of the biggest lives. Figure out who you are and be that person (unless that person is not generous with their money, rarely does things that benefits others and has no ambition. If that’s the case, then figure out who you are and don’t be that person. Instead, work on becoming the kind of person that lives a big life.)

5. Learn to love
People who live big, love big. Learn what it really is to love people. Learn to love life. Learn to love moments and to love seasons. Don’t be a complainer or a pessimist. See the good in people. Don’t look for problems, but instead look for opportunities in how to live and love bigger.

What about you? What do you think makes for a bigger life?

What kinds of things have the potential to keep one stuck living a small life?

Bringing Zoe Home

Over that past few weeks, I have been spending a lot of time reflecting on the way I approach life and people. I have always been a fairly private person, which I believe is okay to a point. Lately, however, I have had some things in my heart that I find myself not sharing or celebrating with others the way I want to and should be. It’s an interesting thing that is happening to me and it is part of my own personal journey of learning more about myself and continuing to become more like the me that God created me to be. That is, one who lives from his heart and not so much from his head.

Along the way, through our adoption process, (Kristy and I are currently adopting a baby girl – Zoe – from Ethiopia) I have not really expressed my heart for our adoption. So, today, I’d like to share what is and has been going on in my heart over the past few months and years.

Adoption is actually something that Kris and I started discussing at the time of our engagement. At that time, 8 years ago, we both had a heart to possibly one day adopt. For me personally though, it is something that I have had on my heart for most of my adult life. Honestly, I can't explain why except that I always felt blessed growing up, especially in high school, because I had such great parents and a great home life. Growing up, many of my friends did not have this same experience and I can remember thinking that if I could ever give another child who didn't have a family - a family, then I would.

Obviously, Kris and I both desire a large family (we currently have 4 boys) and when we (she) decided that we (she) were/was probably done having biological children, we (we) both still sensed that we weren't actually done 'having' children. I think that God gives us the grace to do the things he asks us to do. I don't think God asks everyone to adopt or have a big family, but I do sense that it is something that he has called us to do.

We chose Ethiopia because we both have a heart for Africa. It is hard to explain heart stuff, but if you’ve ever experienced ‘heart stuff’ then you know what that's like. Throughout our research, we came to realize that there are only a handful of African countries that currently participate in international adoption. We also learned that Ethiopia had become a major player in international adoptions and there were many U.S. adoption agencies working with Ethiopia. At the same time, Ethiopia is one of the few African countries that has infants that may be adopted. There are over 5 million orphans in Ethiopia and most of these are due to poverty.

One of, if not, the biggest hurdle that was standing in our way of actually pulling the trigger and deciding to fully jump in was money. An Ethiopian adoption cost between $25,000 and $28,000. Once we knew that this was God though, we committed to simply figuring it out. We had about $8,000 saved up in our emergency fund, so we knew we could start with that. Then I thought about jumping into my 401k. After more consideration, I decided that we would not jump into the 401k, but instead would pray and ask God to provide the money. Because we wholeheartedly felt God's leading in this endeavor, we believed that he would either provide the money by people giving towards bringing Zoe home or by us borrowing against the equity in our home. (Which is different than going creating new debt.) We determined that we were good with either way he decided to work it out or both ways.

To date we are $12,200 into the adoption. Awesomely enough (perhaps you have not heard the word awesomely used in a sentence before, but let’s face it….it really works here), God has already provided 1/3 of the money from the gifts of beautiful people around us who have simply desired to give financially towards Zoe coming home.

This journey (we are now officially 4 1/2 months into it) has been a lot of fun and pretty stress free so far. Most families take a minimum of 6 months to complete their dossier, but we have been cruising along (Kris is a stud) and we completed our dossier last weekend. As of this writing, our dossier is now in Virginia at our adoption agency, America World and will be sent to Ethiopia on Friday. Once our dossier is in Ethiopia, we will be put in line for receiving our little girl. From the time we are put in line, it should take between 7 and 12 months to bring Zoe home.

Things have been interesting around our home. We are regularly talking to the boys about their baby sister, Zoe. They are incredibly excited about having a brown sister and they love telling people that they’re getting a brown baby from Africa. (These are the words they have chosen on their own.) At the same time, Kristy is incredibly anxious to get started on Zoe's room and it's pretty cool for me too, because we've never had little girl stuff.

One thing that I have realized throughout this journey is that there are a lot of people who simply don't understand why we are adopting. I think this is in part because there is not much adopting going on around N.O. and secondly, because I have not done a good job of expressing myself. Some have thought that we just want another child. Others have thought we just want a girl. The truth is - we don't need any more kids (if you ever visit during dinner time, you’ll understand). Nor we don't need a girl. For us, these things are wonderful, but at the heart of the matter, our desire is to give a child who has everything stacked against them - a chance to live. I know that 1 in 5,000,000 doesn't seem like a lot, but it will mean a lot to that one, so we're starting there.

I write these things here and I invite you into this journey along with Kristy and me because, at the end of the day, I believe that we all play a part in this adoption. I honestly believe that anyone who prays for us and prays for Zoe, anyone who prays for the workers at the orphanage, anyone who gives money towards bringing Zoe home, anyone who educates themselves or asks questions, is playing a part in providing this child with a family and forever changing her life. To all of you, who have already played such an integral part, through your prayers and thoughts – THANK YOU!

I’d like to invite you over to our adoption blog also to check out Kristy’s heart for this adoption. You can check out her blog: Life and Heart Change here. (Warning: you might need Kleenex).

For those who are interested in keeping up with Zoe’s journey home, Kristy updates our adoption blog fairly regularly and you can reach that blog here.

If you have any questions about our adoption journey, please ask!