Monday, February 5, 2007

It's 3 A.M...Do You Know Where Your Wife Is?

On March 1 Kristy and I will celebrate our 48 month anniversary – 4 years of marriage. Four years ago, I was 26 years old, living in a beautiful one bedroom apartment, had two nice cars, a great job and lots and lots of free time. Enjoying movies and a variety of dining experiences on a weekly basis, Kristy and I enjoyed our lives as we had very little responsibility and lots of ‘us’ time. Just 4 short years ago, I could be awakened at 3:00 in the morning, roll over and wake my wife up for a little 3 a.m. action. What a life!

It’s amazing how much can change in just 4 years time.

Forty eight months later our lives are in no way, shape or form the same as they once were (except that we’re better friends today than we were then). Now, don’t get me wrong – we still get to enjoy the things we once did. We still enjoy the movies and probably watch them more than in the past. Of course these movies include Finding Nemo, Monsters Inc., Toy Story, The Lion King and Jungle Book. We still enjoy a variety of dining experiences such as McDonalds, Dunkin’ Donuts and Chuck E. Cheese’s. We still have two nice cars – if you consider a mini-van a nice car. And most importantly we still get up at 3:00 a.m. The only problem is, now when I wake up at 3 a.m. it is usually to a child crying and more often than not I’m lying next to a space void of my best friend. As I write this today Kristy and I now have 3 boys – Micah (28 months), Jonah (14 months) and Nathan (4 days).

Saturday night, we had our newest addition, Nathan, home for the first time. All was running smoothly until about 11 pm when Nathan (4 days old) woke up Jonah (14 months). After getting Jonah back to sleep and Nathan fed, all seemed well until Jonah woke up again at midnight, lying in a bed that he somehow managed to wet from one end to the other. (I don’t know how a kid that small can pee that much.) I changed the sheets as Kristy began rocking him back to sleep. As she rocked him, I headed back to our bed only to be stopped in my tracks by a crying Nathan. So I went and took care of Nathan and finally met Kristy back in the bed at 1:30 a.m. Around 3:00 a.m. our oldest son, Micah (28 months old) began crying. As I rolled over to see if Kristy was going to make her way to Micah’s room, I noticed she wasn’t there. I was instantly transported in my mind to the days when we would get it on at this time…but I digress. Not tonight. As I get up and move towards Micah’s room I notice Kris in the den once again feeding #3. So, I go to Micah’s room and work my magic until he falls back asleep. At 5:45 a.m. I wake up in Micah’s bed (that was my magic) and drag myself to the shower to start another day. What a life!

Last night in our home, our experience was the same as Saturday night, with the addition of one child throwing up and having to clean up that mess. Needless to say, I am incredibly tired today. I could take time later to write out all of the things that I am learning right now, but that would make this blog way too long. So, I’m just jotting down the cliff notes today:

1. God is really teaching me, once again, that choosing selflessness is the way to go – especially in my marriage. I have been amazed to see how much it enhances my relationship with my bride and how valued she feels when I choose to help her in the middle of the night with our kids.

2. God is teaching me to enjoy the stage of life that I am in. Whether you’re single and want to be married, married and want to have kids, have kids and want more kids, have kids and want them to leave for college – the stage that you are in is what it is – and it will be gone one day so don’t rush through it. God is teaching me to truly enjoy where I am in life.

3. God is teaching me about his love for me through my kids. Just as I take incredible pleasure in my boys, he is teaching me that when I live in his presence, I can truly experience his pleasure in my life on a regular, daily basis. (I will certainly write more on this.)


fuel52 said...

I'm feeling for you man. I know it's painful. Compounded, of course by 3 children in diapers. Man how on earth did we think it was bad the first time around, huh? That was NOTHING.

Observing my 30th birthday I was reminded of the importance for living the season of life you're in for what it is and what it has to offer, rather than being anxious about anything.

Good luck bro, and hang in there!

Good stuff

Becky said...

I am so glad I decided NOT to spend the night at you guys' house! So the rest of the story is that you said Jonah would sleep a lot later and Micah would just chill and watch T.V. But actually all 3 boys were up by 7:20, and we had a parTAY! But it was fun seeing you all when I was in town. Should I book my flight for the next one?

Becky said...

Faith Gilmore is here, and she says you should sound-proof Jonah's room and put Nathan in there. Put a monitor in there so you can hear him in your room. Put Jonah in the living room, and then he and Micah won't hear Nathan. She says, "Sound-proofing doesn't look that ugly. And you can take it down in a few years without much damage to the walls." Problem solved.

curia_regis said...

I'm a single guy, I don't know what 3am action is...please elaborate.

oribac said...

Don't worry JB. Unless you're on your honeymoon, most married guys don't know what 3am action is either.

Chad (Captain) Estes said...

ahem... 3am action is the reason Jeansonne has three young boys. Figure it out.

Brian, I laughed at your post and relate to the story. I had four kids show up at my house much of the same way. Jamie and I are 18 years into this relationship and are more jealous of our time together than ever. If your kids are anything like mine they will be more secure when you and Kristy keep each other the priority. Even when they are little, keep those little men in their place.

Looking forward to seeing you in a couple of weeks.