Sunday Stories: A Beautiful Gift

Mr. Incredible

My 7 year old might be an artist. He has loved drawing since he was four. The thing is, his drawings aren't like most little kid drawings; his are actually pretty good. He has this creative side that simply pours out of him.

Last week, he drew a picture for the assistant principal at his school. When he took it to the office to deliver it, the secretary intercepted him and said that she would make sure the assistant principal got it. When the secretary looked at this hand drawn picture, she was intrigued by the detail of the drawing. She asked my son if he had ever taken art or was in the art program. Since we didn't even know the school had an art program, he obviously said, "no". 

This week, my 7 year old came home from school incredibly excited because on that particular day, he had been invited to leave his friends and the mundane normalcy of first grade during one period in order to go to art class. It turns out that the secretary took it upon herself to speak to the art teacher about the potential talent in this young first grader.

Some might say, she's just a secretary. That seems to be a nasty habit in our culture. I like to think however that she is one who empowers others. I believe this woman has has a beautiful gift, an eye, an ability to recognize the beauty and potential in others and do all that's in her power to pull it out of them. Whether or not my son excels in his art, I will be happy with all that his art teachers teach him along the way, but I will forever be appreciative and grateful from the deepest parts of my being for the secretary who took time to notice what is inside of my son and to nurture and encourage his young heart.

Sunday Stories: Selfless Love

I heard a story this week about four siblings in their 50's. Two brothers, two sisters. Last week, their 81 year old father passed away. In his last few months of life, his health began to deteriorate and he began suffering with dementia as it would come and go at times.There were a number of occasions when he would be sitting at his home in his chair and would suddenly decide that he wanted to go home. Instead of convincing him that he was already at home or just putting him off, his sons would simply say,

"Ok, dad. Come on. Let's go."

They would go outside, load up in the car and begin driving their dad around asking him for turn by turn directions on how to get back to his home. Sometimes they would get by with just having to make the block. Other times, their dad's directions would take them on a long journey, passing by his old grade school, high school and other landmarks that resided in his memory. Each time though, they would end up back at his home. They would pull into the driveway, get out of the car, go inside and take their places once again in the chairs that they had left minutes earlier. The difference was, this time when sitting in his chair, their dad was at peace because his son's had taken him home.

This might be the most powerful story of love that I experienced this week.

Letters to Zoe

One of my fondest, most vivid memories is of the day my first son was born and that first night in the hospital with by beautiful wife and our new baby boy. Even today, 6 years later, I can distinctly remember holding him in my arms and the words that I spoke over him and to him that night. Just as vivid and memorable is the night that I experienced the same feelings with our second son, just fourteen months later.

It didn't take me long to realize that though my heart was full of love and full of words for my sons, there was no way I would ever be able to remember everything on my own and there was no way for them to one day, in the future, know what I was saying and feeling for them at these present moments.

So, began, letters to my sons.

I love the technological advancements that have been made over the years that have made communicating much easier through avenues such as emailing, texting, facebooking, tweeting, blogging, skyping and so on. But for me, there is still no better way to communicate and express myself than through a handwritten letter.

Today, I am the proud dad of 4 beautiful and amazing boys. My boys are currently ages 6, 5, 4 & 2. At present, my Kristy and I are also in the (very slow) process of adopting our daughter, Zoe Moon, from Ethiopia.

These days, I keep a journal for each of my boys in which I regularly write letters to them. The letters are usually written at random times throughout the year as well as a letter to each boy on his birthday every year. This has been an amazing way for me to communicate with my boys and also have a book of letters to one day give to each. Even now, as they are growing older, I have recently begun sitting down with them and reading some of their letters to them.

Not too long ago, I headed over to Barnes and Noble to pick up my newest journal. This one is a little different. It's pink. And I cannot wait for the day that I am able to hold my Zoe and begin reading all of the letters that have been written to her even while she is over 8000 away.

I'm curious, what are some of your fun and creative traditions?

Bringing Zoe Home

Over that past few weeks, I have been spending a lot of time reflecting on the way I approach life and people. I have always been a fairly private person, which I believe is okay to a point. Lately, however, I have had some things in my heart that I find myself not sharing or celebrating with others the way I want to and should be. It’s an interesting thing that is happening to me and it is part of my own personal journey of learning more about myself and continuing to become more like the me that God created me to be. That is, one who lives from his heart and not so much from his head.

Along the way, through our adoption process, (Kristy and I are currently adopting a baby girl – Zoe – from Ethiopia) I have not really expressed my heart for our adoption. So, today, I’d like to share what is and has been going on in my heart over the past few months and years.

Adoption is actually something that Kris and I started discussing at the time of our engagement. At that time, 8 years ago, we both had a heart to possibly one day adopt. For me personally though, it is something that I have had on my heart for most of my adult life. Honestly, I can't explain why except that I always felt blessed growing up, especially in high school, because I had such great parents and a great home life. Growing up, many of my friends did not have this same experience and I can remember thinking that if I could ever give another child who didn't have a family - a family, then I would.

Obviously, Kris and I both desire a large family (we currently have 4 boys) and when we (she) decided that we (she) were/was probably done having biological children, we (we) both still sensed that we weren't actually done 'having' children. I think that God gives us the grace to do the things he asks us to do. I don't think God asks everyone to adopt or have a big family, but I do sense that it is something that he has called us to do.

We chose Ethiopia because we both have a heart for Africa. It is hard to explain heart stuff, but if you’ve ever experienced ‘heart stuff’ then you know what that's like. Throughout our research, we came to realize that there are only a handful of African countries that currently participate in international adoption. We also learned that Ethiopia had become a major player in international adoptions and there were many U.S. adoption agencies working with Ethiopia. At the same time, Ethiopia is one of the few African countries that has infants that may be adopted. There are over 5 million orphans in Ethiopia and most of these are due to poverty.

One of, if not, the biggest hurdle that was standing in our way of actually pulling the trigger and deciding to fully jump in was money. An Ethiopian adoption cost between $25,000 and $28,000. Once we knew that this was God though, we committed to simply figuring it out. We had about $8,000 saved up in our emergency fund, so we knew we could start with that. Then I thought about jumping into my 401k. After more consideration, I decided that we would not jump into the 401k, but instead would pray and ask God to provide the money. Because we wholeheartedly felt God's leading in this endeavor, we believed that he would either provide the money by people giving towards bringing Zoe home or by us borrowing against the equity in our home. (Which is different than going creating new debt.) We determined that we were good with either way he decided to work it out or both ways.

To date we are $12,200 into the adoption. Awesomely enough (perhaps you have not heard the word awesomely used in a sentence before, but let’s face it….it really works here), God has already provided 1/3 of the money from the gifts of beautiful people around us who have simply desired to give financially towards Zoe coming home.

This journey (we are now officially 4 1/2 months into it) has been a lot of fun and pretty stress free so far. Most families take a minimum of 6 months to complete their dossier, but we have been cruising along (Kris is a stud) and we completed our dossier last weekend. As of this writing, our dossier is now in Virginia at our adoption agency, America World and will be sent to Ethiopia on Friday. Once our dossier is in Ethiopia, we will be put in line for receiving our little girl. From the time we are put in line, it should take between 7 and 12 months to bring Zoe home.

Things have been interesting around our home. We are regularly talking to the boys about their baby sister, Zoe. They are incredibly excited about having a brown sister and they love telling people that they’re getting a brown baby from Africa. (These are the words they have chosen on their own.) At the same time, Kristy is incredibly anxious to get started on Zoe's room and it's pretty cool for me too, because we've never had little girl stuff.

One thing that I have realized throughout this journey is that there are a lot of people who simply don't understand why we are adopting. I think this is in part because there is not much adopting going on around N.O. and secondly, because I have not done a good job of expressing myself. Some have thought that we just want another child. Others have thought we just want a girl. The truth is - we don't need any more kids (if you ever visit during dinner time, you’ll understand). Nor we don't need a girl. For us, these things are wonderful, but at the heart of the matter, our desire is to give a child who has everything stacked against them - a chance to live. I know that 1 in 5,000,000 doesn't seem like a lot, but it will mean a lot to that one, so we're starting there.

I write these things here and I invite you into this journey along with Kristy and me because, at the end of the day, I believe that we all play a part in this adoption. I honestly believe that anyone who prays for us and prays for Zoe, anyone who prays for the workers at the orphanage, anyone who gives money towards bringing Zoe home, anyone who educates themselves or asks questions, is playing a part in providing this child with a family and forever changing her life. To all of you, who have already played such an integral part, through your prayers and thoughts – THANK YOU!

I’d like to invite you over to our adoption blog also to check out Kristy’s heart for this adoption. You can check out her blog: Life and Heart Change here. (Warning: you might need Kleenex).

For those who are interested in keeping up with Zoe’s journey home, Kristy updates our adoption blog fairly regularly and you can reach that blog here.

If you have any questions about our adoption journey, please ask!

How Dave Changed My Life

My life and my marriage will never be the same...and the way it happened was really an accident. It occurred one day while I was on itunes checking out a few of the new tunes on the 2009 release Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King by the Dave Matthews Band. One track title – You and Me – arrested my attention like no other.

It only took me a few seconds of listening before I was taken by the words that Dave was singing. Rich with sweet acoustic guitar, well placed tambourine and the amazing Dave Matthews signature strings, the South African poet sang straight to my heart:

We can always look back at what we did
All these memories of you and me baby
But right now it's you and me forever girl
And you know we could do better than anything that we did
You know that you and me, we could do anything

You and me together, we could do anything, Baby
You and me together yeah, yeah
Two of us together, we could do anything, baby [Full Lyrics]

The same heart that those words penetrated is a heart that is full of dreams and ideas. and desires. I want this planet and the people that I encounter on it to be better off because I am here. I have a heart to impact my world in a variety of ways. The way I raise my kids. The way I respect and honor people. The way I care for nobodies. The way I love people who are different than me. The way I learn how to give of myself. The way I take care of the planet. The way I treasure my wife. The way I love and live and engage in the everyday.

There are two things though that hold me back – doubt and laziness. As I sat however, and meditated on Dave’s words I was reminded of two other very important things.

Number 1: I am married to and get to share my life with an amazing woman (who also has dreams and ideas).

Number 2: Right now is the only moment that we are guaranteed.

Therefore, if Kristy and I have dreams, then today seems like a good day to get off of the sofa, get to God, allow him to calm our fears and follow our hearts.
We’ve been given time and life together….today….and we can do anything.

My soon to be daughter, Zoe, is going to know this song, as it is one of the biggest reasons that we are now 4 months into adopting our baby girl from Ethiopia. Adoption has been on our hearts for more than 7 years, but doubt, finances and laziness were keeping us on the sidelines. I’ve come to realize that whenever I’m sitting on the sidelines, it’s because I’m allowing my head to win the contest with my heart. But my life is most full when I allow my heart to win.

I love when my heart trumps my head. It is a beautiful thing.

So, what dreams are in your heart?

What is holding you back?

What words has God been speaking to you through music or art or books to encourage you to move? How will you respond?




And Kristy....I love that we are learning to love and live on this journey together. You and me. You are simply amazing.

And, Dave.....thanks.

8109 Miles

Kristy and I were married on March 1, 2003. Like most couples, we both came into our relationship with lots of thoughts and ideas and dreams about what and who we could be as a couple. From the very beginning, one of the things that we discussed often was our desire to one day adopt a child. We were so young at the time (and we still are), but individually we both shared a similar desire, a heart to one day be parents to a child who did not have parents.

It was not long into our marriage that we became pregnant with our first son. Micah was born in 2004.

Our second son, Jonah, was born in 2005.

Our third son, Nate, was born in 2007.

Our fourth son, Lucas, was born in 2008.

It’s not that we really had anything against 2006; we were just taking a little breather.

Though, we were incredibly busy having all of these little fellas (some of us were busy making, some busy having) we always kept our conversation about adoption going. We would discuss between pregnancies if the timing was right and each time the timing just didn’t feel quite right.

After Lucas was born, we picked the conversation up once again. Only this time, something felt different. We both sensed that we still wanted more children, but we also sensed that we might be done actually having children. For the past year or so, we have revisited the conversation about adopting a child, many, many times.

The desire has continued to grow and in January of 2010, we took the conversation from ‘should we one day adopt?’ to, ‘we should one day adopt.’

In March of 2010, Kristy and I took a trip to Austin, TX together with our 4 boys to spend about 8 days with some friends. While we were there, we experienced incredible bonding as a family and amazing time being fully engaged with one another and God. On that trip, I remember looking at Kristy one day and saying to her…

“We have our lives to live and love together. If there are dreams in our hearts that have been placed there by God, then we need to trust him and chase after those dreams. We can do anything that we want. We are deeply connected to God and we can trust the stuff inside of us.”

We came home, and decided that now is the time.

On April 28, 2010, we applied to adopt a baby girl from Ethiopia.

Today, our application was accepted. (This sentence should be read with a ridiculous amount of enthusiasm and excitement!)

We are choosing to adopt a child, because feel that God has given us a heart for more. It is true, with our track record, that we could probably have more natural, biological children; however, we know that there are millions of children around this amazing globe who do not have wonderful homes to grow up in and we would like to open our lives and share our love to make a lifelong difference in at least one of these children’s lives.

We have chosen international adoption because our hearts have been enlarged by the love of our incredible God - our God, who is a global God and has taught us so much over the years about his kingdom and his intense love for all people. At the same time, Kristy and I both have an unexplainable leaning towards Africa.

For those of you who are interested, we invite you to journey with us. We have created a new blog for this journey at http://www.jeansonneadoption.blogspot.com/.

Along the way, we would greatly appreciate all of your prayers. There are actually a few specific things that you could pray for:

Please pray for our daughter who, more than likely, has not yet been conceived.

Please pray for us and for the process. International adoption is a long and tedious process and there is a lot of red tape. Please pray that things go smoothly.

For various reasons, international adoption is incredibly expensive. We have a game plan in place, but would appreciate your prayers in this area.

Please pray for our daughter’s biological mother and father who will be placed in the position of having to put her up for adoption.

We are incredibly excited about this path and this journey and look forward to sharing it with you.

Thanks so much for your thoughts and prayers!

* 8109 miles is the distance from New Orleans, Louisiana to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.

Time to Dance

I have a new morning routine. My new routine is designed to help me slow down and be more engaged in this good life. In my new routine, I try to get up before the rest of the family (as I did in my old routine), but now, instead of getting ready and hurrying off to Starbucks before work (old routine), I now stumble straight into the kitchen. I usually put on some type of music to set the mood for a happy home when my people wake up; something that is conducive to worshipping God – usually a little Dave Matthews, U2, David Crowder, Norah Jones or Veggie Tales. Normally, by this time, the boys are awake (and it does not matter if it is 5:30 am or 7:30 am – If I’m in the kitchen, somehow, they know it) and we begin working on breakfast. After breakfast everyone goes to their rooms, gets dressed, brushes their teeth and whatever else needs to be done.

It’s during this time, that I make my way to our playroom and set the ipod to any number of songs that immediately signal to the boys….it’s time to dance. It’s kind of funny because they know what these tunes are.

As soon as my people hear, I Got a Feeling (Black Eyed Peas), Hey, Soul Sister (Train), Christ is Risen (Jeremy Riddle), I Just Haven’t Met You Yet (Michael Buble), or any other number of songs – they dance their way to the playroom – no matter what they were in the middle of. Literally, sometimes they arrive with a toothbrush in hand, sometimes with just one shoe on, sometimes with no pants – no matter what they were in the middle of – each Jeansonne boy finds his way to the playroom, moving to the music (even our 15 month old…he can’t talk but he can dance!)

For the past number of weeks, it has been the greatest moment of most of my days. Me and my boys dancing it up together, for minutes each morning. Unfortunately, these boys are learning their moves from me, but that’s another blog for another day. (If you need an image think of an NFL player’s touchdown celebration and combine that with Ellen’s mad dance skills.)

It’s a fantastic way to start our day.

Now, dancing with my boys might just be for a season, but dancing with my boys each morning has reminded me and will hopefully instill within them, that no matter how busy and/or serious things get in our lives…..

It’s good to make time to dance.

Camping 101

Last week, I took my oldest son, Micah, camping. It was our first camping trip together – just the two of us. As our trip was nearing, I was amazed at how excited I was. The nights leading up to our time together, I could not stop telling Kristy how excited I was to take my boy camping and actually spending some quality one-on-one time with him. I enjoyed every single minute of packing our supplies, buying our groceries and buying Micah his first fishing pole. Quite honestly, I think I was more excited than he was.

I took Micah to the same camping grounds that our family went to when I was growing up. I decided not to make reservations, because I was nervous that if I reserved a site that I ended up not liking – I’d be stuck with it. So, I chose to take my chances and arrive early in the day to pick out a site that would be just right. Before we left, I asked Kristy to pray that we get a great site and that we have a great time together.

After a two hour drive, Micah and I arrived. I drove up to the window and said, “We don’t have reservations, but we’d like a camping site.” The sweet little woman at the window said, “Well, we have one site left.”

One site!

There are over 200 sites at this campground and they had just one left?

I said, “We’ll take it!”

As we drove through the park, we wove our way down the winding roads through the rolling hills and finally arrived at our campsite. As soon as I noticed which site was ours, I felt this sinking feeling inside. Our site was wide open! We were practically sharing a site with the people next to us. You could count the number of trees in and around our site – and we were supposed to be in the woods! I tried to put on a happy face for Micah as we began to set up camp. I sent a text to Kristy that said, “BUMMER! Our site SUCKS!”

We had a great time setting up camp, but I couldn’t seem to shake my feelings of being bummed. I just felt like the whole trip was going to be affected by our site being so open. It wasn’t what I wanted. It wasn’t what I expected.

After setting up camp, I gave Micah his fishing pole and I took him fishing for the first time in his life. It was the coolest thing. He caught all kinds of stuff. He hooked a tree. He caught some grass. He even reeled in a pier. And he loved every single minute of it. As we were sitting there casting our lines, Micah looked up at me and said, “Dad, you don’t like our firecamp?” (He called our campsite a firecamp.) I was taken aback. I hadn’t said anything to him about not liking our site. I hadn’t spoken it out loud to anyone (I intentionally texted Kristy so he would not hear me talking to her about it.) I looked at him and said, “No, Micah – I like our firecamp. Why?” To which he replied, “I was just wondering because I really like it.”

At that moment I realized that if it didn’t bother Micah, then there was no reason in the world that it should bother me. From that moment on, I had a change of attitude, a change of mind and a change of heart. And I had the most amazing time with my son.

On our trip, I taught Micah how to pitch a tent, start a fire, cast a line, scramble eggs, tell spooky stories, roast hot dogs on an open flame and find a private place in the woods to pee.

On our trip, Micah taught me not to let my circumstances determine my attitude and experience.