Theological Humility

Last week, a friend said to me,

"...theological humility is what allows God to challenge and change us."

It immediately dawned on me....this is probably why I didn't change for years. Because a person who already knows everything doesn't need to change and I knew it all. And then this interesting thing called life happened to me. One of the greatest movements in my life over the last 6 years has been the journey towards admitting and being okay with the fact that I might be wrong about certain things and that there are a whole lot of things that I just don't know.

I was once the King of Opinions. I had opinions about things that I was well versed in. I had opinions about things I had no idea about. If we were talking about it, I had an opinion and my opinion was the right one. Period. My opinions didn't stop with thoughts on parenting or marriage or the cats vs. dogs debate. My opinions ran in all directions including theological issues about why God does what he does, who's in and who's out in God's economy, why my way was right and everyone else's way was very wrong and on and on.

Arrogant people can be such asses. So, if you caught the arrogant ass version of me along the way, I am truly sorry.

I am still a work in progress, but I am happy to say that today, things are a little bit different thanks to a number of people who chose to love me through my arrogance. Along the way, I have had good friends tell me that they didn't like me because I knew it all. Co-workers have expressed how much of a delight I was not to work with because of my opinions and ability to trump all others thoughts and ideas with my self perceived better thoughts and ideas. And here I was thinking that I was God's great gift to my little universe. At least, that was my opinion.

Lately, I have been challenged on some of my previous dogmatic stances when it comes to life and theology.

Questions like:

What if people in the far reaching places of the planet never know the person of Jesus before they die nor had the opportunity to hear about the redemptive, restorative plan of this resurrected Jesus?

Why are some people born with passion for the opposite sex while others are born with passion for the same sex? If God controls these things, but then says that one should not have relations with the same sex, doesn't this make God kind of cruel?

Does God actually control all things?

Does God really think that whole 'love your enemies and literally pray for them' thing is going to work?

If God is so good, then why do babies die in their mother's wombs sometimes?

I could list hundreds of these types of questions.

Recently, I was reading my boys a story out of the book of Genesis. We read about a time in which there was famine in the land of Egypt for 7 years for lack of rain and many people were without food. My 6 year old son asked me,

"Dad, people had no food to eat because there was no rain?"

"Yes, son."

"But doesn't God make the rain?"

"Yes, son."

"So, if God loves everybody, then why didn't God just make rain so people could have food and not go hungry?"

Now, here's the deal. Theologically, I think there is an answer to this question and the other questions posed above. Now, for those of you who are concerned at this point, let me reassure you - I believe that Jesus is God's son. I believe that he came to the planet to crush sin, death, evil, tyranny and oppression through dying and ultimately coming back to life. I believe that Jesus is the way to God and restored life. Beyond this, there is a whole lot that I'm just not sure of.

These days, I don't think that theology is enough. Because theology misses the most important part of a person. Theology misses the heart. Theology hits us square in the cranium and for the most part, it stays right there. I could have loaded up my son with all kinds of theological answers, but let's face it - theology will never satisfy the heart of a 6 year old (or 56 year old) who is struggling with why a loving God would intentionally withhold waters from the sky to cause a famine in which people die for lack of food. How do we explain this to our boys who know their sister - whom currently resides in Ethiopia - is in an orphanage with barely enough food to survive the night?

How do we answer that question? Can we answer that question? Should we answer that question?

Or is it okay to let some questions, be just that? Questions. Mysteries. Spaces of tension.

So, how did our conversation end?

"So, Dad, if God loves everybody, then why didn't God just make rain so people could have food and not go hungry?"

"I don't know, son. But I do know that Jesus promises us that no matter what happens to us in life, he will be with us. We might not always feel it or even think it, but I can promise you that Jesus loves us and will be with us through all of it."

And when he gets a little older, I'll give him a little more. At least the little more that I might know. But one thing is for sure....I don't ever want to give him or anyone else just something to satisfy the head. I want to be a person who engages hearts. But in order to be that person, I think we have to first, have our hearts engaged.

How about you? What has your experience been with engaging God with your head vs. your heart?

Waiting for Zoe

So, it turns out that the adoption process can be very fun and exciting and at times discouraging and drawn out. It's been fifteen months since we made our decision to pursue adoption and applied with America World Adoption Agency (AWAA). We spent five months pulling together all of our paperwork, meeting with our social worker and getting all of our ducks in a row. In September 2010 we mailed our dossier to Ethiopia and began the process of waiting. Eight months later, we are still waiting and at present, there does not seem to be an end in sight. 

For those who are interested in keeping up with our adoption journey on a regular basis, you can follow us over at our adoption blog here.

These days we have started a new tradition to help us keep our heads up during the waiting. Our dossier went to Ethiopia on the 24th of September, so we have declared the 24th of each month Zoe Moon day. On Zoe Moon day we take the boys out and we celebrate with ice cream. It has turned into a much anticipated family night and Kristy and I look forward to it just as much as the boys. 

So, until we are able to actually meet our Zoe we will continue to wait and while we wait, we will continue celebrate her arrival with ice cream.

And for all of you dads who already hold your daughters...you're doing a good work that matters greatly. Keep up the good work and don't forget to spend some time eating ice cream with your daughter. Here's a little John Mayer for you.

John Mayer - Daughters (Official Music Video). Watch more top selected videos about: John Mayer

Your Turn

Now that summer is here, I thought it would be cool to go back and look at your favorite blog post that you wrote this spring.

If you're a blogger, leave a comment with a link to your favorite blog post that you wrote in March, April or May. (If you're not a blogger, leave a comment with a link to a favorite post that you read on someone else's blog over these last 3 months.)

I'm looking forward to reading your favorites! 

How Can We Raise Centered-Set Kids?

For those of you who enjoyed, 'Did Jesus Die Because of the Cookies', I have tweaked that blog and it is running today as a guest post over at Not the Religious Type. It's called How Can We Raise Centered-Set Kids? Check it out when you get a chance.

Letting God Off the Hook

I recently listened to a podcast of a roundtable discussion between a pastor of a christian church and 4 members of his church who are part of the LGBT community. It was an interesting dialogue as this pastor so lovingly engaged in honest conversation with his four friends who are all seeking to follow Jesus and are lesbian, gay and/or bisexual.

During the course of the conversation, one of the women said that she went to this particular church simply because someone invited her. She described her experience that day in that particular church as 'profound.' Having very little previous exposure to church she said that day she decided to 'allow herself to encounter God', but in order to do so she felt as though she had to 'let [God] off the hook for all the stupid things people say about him.'

I wonder....

As a follower of Christ, am I more of a hindrance to people connecting with God or an aid?

Do my words and life express God as some angry, unattainable deity that is full of wrath and judgment or is he as approachable as Jesus was to the prostitutes, poor, thieves and bums?

Do people in my life need to let God off of the hook because of stupid things I say about him (or ways I portray him)?

Finally, if you are not one who follows God, I'm curious what kinds of 'stupid things that people have said' would you need to let him off of the hook for in order to investigate him further?

Navigating the Waters of Public School

As parents of 4 boys, Kristy and I spent a good deal of time praying about, talking about and figuring out which avenue we would take for educating our children. Our options were, magnet school, public neighborhood school, homeschool, private school or unschooling. (Wikipedia: Unschooling)

From the very beginning, I sensed that God was leading us to put our kids in the public neighborhood school for a couple of reasons that I'll mention shortly. That being said, public school was a scary option for me. I grew up a private school boy. Pre-K - 12th grade. All private. All the way. I had very little experience with public schools but what I did know (think I knew) was not good. I saw Dangerous Minds and Lean on Me. I knew some stuff about public schools. The only thing that public school had going for it in my mind was that my wife went to public school and she seems to be doing fine these days.

With 4 (soon to be 5) kids, we had no choice but to eliminate private school as an option simply due to the cost. Unschooling was never a real thought. Homeschool was also easy for us to eliminate for two reasons. The first was that Kristy and I didn't feel cut out for it. The second reason, which is why we also felt led from the beginning towards the neighborhood school was that we wanted our kids in an environment where they would be able to experience life and practice their faith with people who do not all believe or live like we do. (We have lots of friends who have chosen both private and homeschool for very good reasons that work very well for them. We also will not rule either of these options out for the future, however at this time we simply felt led in a different direction.) 

That left us with the magnet school or the neighborhood school. We went back and forth for a while but upon touring our public neighborhood school, we were immediately sold on it. We really liked the school facility and faculty and we loved the idea that our kids would go to school with other kids who they live in the same neighborhood as.

Some have asked how, as a Christian, I feel about what my boys will be taught in public school. I'm actually okay with my kids learning about evolution and humans coming from monkeys. I'm okay with them learning about GLBT issues and orientations. I'm totally okay with prayer not being allowed in school and think that Happy Holidays is actually a better way to go than Merry Christmas. These things don't bother me, they just remind me of how important my role is as a parent to actively pursue God and to continually lead my kids to the heart of Jesus so that they may learn how to ultimately be led, not by rules, but by his spirit. I don't mean to sound like I take these things lightly, but this is the world that my kids will grow up and live in, so I want to teach them early how to navigate these waters in everyday real life situations.

Our first year at the school was a very good one. Our oldest 2 were at the school this year in Kindergarten and Pre-K. We loved their teachers. We loved their friends. Both of our boys became best friends with kids in their classes that were of different races. This totally blessed my heart because my boys will not grow up seeing color (which is also good considering their sister will be black). On the whole it was a great year!

Last Friday our family was there on the second row for our oldest son's graduation from Kindergarten. He was so cute on the stage with about 50 other Kindergarten students, singing songs, reciting poems and stories and receiving certificates.

And then it happened....right in the middle of the program.....a fight broke out.

But this wasn't just any public school fight. This one was even better because it was between parents. Right there on the front row, 10 feet from where the children were standing and watching and learning. One man was actually hauled off to jail, another woman escorted to the back of the room and two other adults were watched closely for the rest of the ceremony.

I'm sad to say, but my initial response was that we needed to get our kids out of this school. We needed to place them somewhere where evil and stupidity couldn't touch them. After calming down though and getting back to God, I feel even more strongly that this is the very reason we need to keep our kids right where they are and as parents who follow Jesus, our role is to continue becoming more engaged in the lives of our kids friends, their parents, the teachers and so on. This is where the rubber hits the road. This is where our hope that life can be different actually gets played out. This is where the kingdom of God touches the kingdom of the world in very real, very tangible ways. This is the tension we've been invited to live in. These are the waters that we feel we have been called to navigate through with grace and mercy, hope and light.

So, the journey will continue. If we continue to feel this is the direction God is leading us, we will have 3 at the school next year. Four the year after that. And five the year after that. My prayer is that Jesus in the Jeansonne's is evidenced by more of his kingdom touching that school and the lives of those involved at the school in tangible ways every year.

And for those who are curious...yes, it is still scary for me.

The Smell of Rain

I originally posted this blog in January of 2007. Today, I was saddened to realize that I have not progressed as much as I had hoped. This morning, my son, Micah - who is now 6 years old - graduated from Kindergarten. I saw all of the important parts and was very happy to be there. However, at the post graduation celebration, Micah asked me if I saw one of his friends during the graduation. When I replied 'no', he looked at me and said, "That's because you were playing with your phone. You should really throw that phone away." Emails, text messages, tweets, FB messages. All a whole bunch of things distracting me from the moments that I so desire to live in. The following blog spoke life to me again today. I hope it does the same for you. Grace and peace.

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A couple of weeks ago, I started a new tradition with my 2 year old son Micah. We have started waking up on Monday mornings and heading off to Dunkin’ Donuts – just the two of us. We’ve been doing this for a couple of weeks now. We turn into the parking lot and Micah begins yelling ‘donuts, donuts!’ As soon as we walk in the door he turns to his left, opens up the cooler and takes out a chocolate milk. I then sit him on the counter and ask him what kind of donuts he wants. The answer is always the same – ‘chocolate.’ After we get our six donut holes and our chocolate milk, I give the bag to Micah and he leads me to our table where we sit and talk about donuts. Sometimes Superman goes with us, sometimes it’s Woody and other times it’s Buzz, but the most important part of the morning for Micah is that we’re together and we’re eating donuts. It’s all about the moment.

Kids are funny people. I’ve always liked kids, but I didn’t really appreciate kids until I started having my own. When you have your own kids, it’s really cool because you finally have someone in your life that has to do what you say and you get to practice counting to three a lot. The most amazing thing about kids though, is just how much you can actually learn from them. If my boys have taught me one thing then they have taught me a thousand things. But one of the things that I love most is that they have taught me (or are teaching me) how to slow down and live in the moment.

This morning I left my home around 6:30 am. It was cold and rainy – a typical January morning in New Orleans. This morning for whatever reason, I was not in a hurry. As I stepped out of my front door, the cool morning air brushed across my face and I felt alive. As I stood on my front porch looking out at my car through the falling rain drops, I was filled with a sense of awe. It was cold as I stood there in that place, but I experienced an overwhelming sense of God’s presence as I realized that today was another day of life, full of opportunities, full of possibilities. I pondered running as quickly as possible to my car or just waiting it out for the rain to stop. I chose to wait. And in that moment, I could smell the rain. I don’t know how to describe that smell to you. All I know is that it was the aroma of life. It was fresh. It was refreshing. It was the moment that I was in. It was the only moment that I was being guaranteed.

On Monday mornings, Micah is so content to eat his donuts. He has no idea that there is more to do that day. As far as he is concerned, it’s just him and his daddy enjoying chocolate milk and chocolate donuts. His finite mind cannot fathom that there would be anything more, anything better than where he is at that precise moment. I hope that one day; I can be just like my boy.

Thank you, Micah. I love you.